Let’s privatize Donald Trump instead

gettyimages-461656522-e1436299461791We’ve all heard the amazing attribute of the man who promises to Make America Great Again. He’ll build a wall across the Southern Border with Mexico. It will be a Huge Wall. With lots of Keep Outs slapped on the Mexican side.

And Trump has promised to bomb all the terrorists right off the map, wherever they are. That will Make America Safe Again according this his exceedingly Huge Logic.

Then Trump has promised to bring all the jobs back to America. He’s guaranteed his supporters that he’ll cure our health care system of all its ills. He’s got a plan for that. And a plan for this. And a plan for that other thing.

Donald Trump may just be the best planner this world has ever seen. Trump is also going to cut taxes and get rid of America’s trade deficit by charging all kinds of tariffs on our trade partners. That’s how Donald Trump is going to make America a profitable nation again.

In fact, it seems to waste all this talent by electing Donald Trump to be President of the United States. After all, according to the philosophy of President Ronald Reagan, government is not the solution to the problems facing America, government IS the problem.

So why waste the prodigious talents of Donald Trump in government, especially in a job that requires as much time as being President of the United States? Well, we know that Donald plans to hand off all the real duties of the presidency to Mike Pence while The Donald runs around the country making even more promises about ways to Make America Great Again.

We should just save him all that trouble of handing off those responsibilities to anyone. Let’s privatize Donald Trump before he even has to worry about all those burdensome activities. It seems like he’d make a fine member of some posh business club where deals are made. That way he can make his deals without any bureaucracy in the way.

Privatizing Donald Trump on Election Day could be the best investment the United States has ever made. His skills would be put to much better use in the private sector than that pesky old government stuff anyway. In fact, if we privatize Trump efficiently enough, we’ll get a tw0-for-one deal with Mike Pence going into private business too!

Now that’s a wise investment if America has ever seen one. Privatize! Privatize! It’s the responsibility of every good Republican to do America this good favor and keep the skills of these two highly capable men out of the public sector where their talents will obviously be wasted. In fact everyone should save Trump and Pence from having to dirty their reputations any further by hanging around in government. Let’s spare them the trouble. It’s our duty as Americans.

 

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